So being a wallflower but also wanting that evolution to a... what to call it?... not-wall flower, wall-less flower?, I try my hardest, occasionally to talk to new people or acquaintances that I want to know better.
Yesterday I made such an effort an while a bit awkward, I would call the venture a success.
Usually, I'm pretty quiet in my Lit. class despite my seat located near the front of the room. And yes, like always I only talked to Lips like I normally do, but this day after class I made an effort to talk to someone I really want to bring into my life more, let's call him Blues (in reference to his eyes). He had just returned after an audition to an acting school in New York and I was debating whether I should approach him.
The little voice in my head picked at me, What if he thinks you're weird? You'll do or say something to mess it up....
But, for some reason I pushed past that echoing nag and spoke to him. Well, first ( since I'm taking a Floral class) I offered him the carnation I was holding as it matched his shirt, and he took it with a smile which I believe is a a good sign.
Speed forward to the actual conversation....................
I wasn't really sure what to say or how to respond or if I would say to much. I don't know if other wallflowers have the same thoughts.... hmmm... anyway...
He told me about New York and how it was too cold among other things and when we stopped, nearly parting ways, I decided to break character and be bold, I asked him to walk with me a bit further and we talked about what be plan to do after school ends, and get this, he asked me a question too! (About what I plan to do with my future).
Wow, that really was a good day for me. It's so odd, being quiet all the time I never really know if I'm truly talking like others when I make a bold move socially, or if I'm still quiet.
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